A British bank holiday: expectation vs reality

Bank holidays in Britain are always filled with hope, excitement and joy. Hope that the weather will be nice, excitement over the fact we can send time with friends and the joy that we have an extra day in bed. Amazing right? Well, sometimes it doesn’t always work out that way. The reality of a bank holiday is never quite as glamorous as the expectation, and no instagram filter can make it look any better. **Sobs

  1. The Weather 

Expectation – glorious sunshine to show off our gym toned bodies

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Reality – It rains

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2. Best BBQ Ever

Expectation – Massive party full of friends with the best BBQ food you can ever imagine. Hot guy handling the meat is a necessity.

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Reality – Stuck in your aunt’s garden with the best of the 80’s soundtrack. Weird uncle takes over BBQ, he looks nothing like Zac Efron.

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3. Girls Night Out

Expectation – The whole squad looking fly, dancing the night away in an ever so classy fashion.

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Reality – You peak too early and you end up in bed by 10:45pm

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4. Healthy Eating

Expectation – The ‘I’m going to be sooooo good” talk. You will start your cleanse and detox, have every intention of eating kale, avocado and fruit. Yay go you!

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Reality – McDonalds Saturday, KFC Sunday, and Pizza Hut Monday, you’ve done the fast food hat-trick.

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5. Sort Your Life Admin Out

Expectation – you’ll sort out that CV, update the website, search for a new job, declutter your wardrobe, give yourself a pedicure, pluck your eyebrows, clean your flat and iron things.

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Reality – You manage to watch an entire series of Narcos in one day and didn’t speak to anyone. Smashed it!

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Cheese Addicts Anonymous

Hi our names are Cigdem and Sam and we can’t stop eating cheese. It may not seem like a problem at first but once an entire plateful has been devoured you know it’s a problem. Cigdem even uses cheese when explaining how to say her name (it’s like half cheddar and half edam…)

Infact this is what we usually look like:

If like us you appreciate the finest food in life then you may understand where we are coming from.

Question:

giphy (8)Answer: there is no such thing as “too much cheese”. Anyone who says otherwise is lying.

When it comes to picking somewhere to eat there’s only one thing on our minds.
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And then comes the cheese platter….

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Until everyone else judges you like they didn’t want any. Eeesh get your own platter people.

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When you meet a hottie on a night out there’s one important question  before you take things further…

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(yes Channing…yes we do).

And when we say ‘taking things further’ we mean chatting of course.

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When there’s an offer on in Tescos you basically fill your basket to the brim. Every little helps after all.

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Hungover weekends are made for one thing and one thing only. Doing this:

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And Friday nights in….

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So let embrace this love and eat as much cheese we possibly can. Why else would a food so delicious be invented if we couldn’t just eat it all?!

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Oh and here’s a little food porn for you all….SO.GOOD.

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10 lies girls tell via social media

C’mon let’s be honest, we all over exaggerate when it comes to our social media, girls especially. We all have this desire to be loved and admired by our peers and even strangers. But now because of social media it seems our needs have heightened even more so. Resulting in a lot of us telling lies or more innocently massaging the truth. 

So here are a few wee lies some girls tell

  1. #ijustwokeuplikethis

Err I don’t think so darling. Mascara, blusher, high-lighter and freshly brushed hair. You ain’t foolin’ nobody.

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2. #HealthyLiving

Now indeed this could be true, you may well be a super healthy chick. But seriously, you can’t keep that shit up 24/7. Bit rich you only post your avocado and salmon salad when i’m pretty sure I saw your fat arse in pizza hut the other day face deep in a stuffed crust.

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3. #SquadGoals

You didn’t even like these bitches two weeks ago, but hey hey living for the insta likes. Nothing says a successful instagram feed like fake friendship.

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4. #GymLife

Yes because everyone goes to the gym in a perfectly co-ordinating outfit and a full face of make-up. No babes, you don’t. You go there to sweat, hate the instructors and hopefully lose weight. If you’re taking snaps, you ain’t doing it right.

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6. #BodyGoals

AHHHHH, these are the worst. Yes you might be genetically blessed and have the ability to grow abs. But girl please, nobody’s stomach is that defined on a Saturday morning. Talk about good lighting and a dab of bronzer.

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7. #BestNightEver

This picture is hash-tagged under an image of a line of girls in a synchronised head tilt position. Yes it was the best night ever, for the 10 minutes it took to take that picture. Shortly after the said girls went out, queued for 30 minutes to get into an expensive club, stayed for one pricey prosecco and then had their boyfriends pick them up so they could go home and sleep.

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8. #LookingAway

Oh some person just randomly took this picture of me looking away whilst laughing or holding a drink. Yes because that happens all of the time. So explain to me, after said photographical hero took said picture, you then approached them on the off chance that they took a picture of you without you knowing, and then sent you it so you could post it on instagram. Believable, indeed.

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9. #RelationshiopGoals

Word to the wise, if you have to post saying you’re relationship is perfect, it probably isn’t. Surely if you’re that happy you don’t need recognition from other people. Plus it really blooming irritating.

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10. #LifeGoals

That’s the biggest lie by far is that you have everything in life sorted. You’ve got the perfect job, relationship, body, friends and house. Truth is, nobody has that, but social media makes feel like you should. Filters are there to distort the truth, so don’t get dragged down by this air-brushed image that other people are trying to portray. Just remember you do you sista.

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Life lessons from Lauren Conrad

It’s been over a decade since we watched Laguna Beach but let’s face it, L.C taught us pretty much everything we know about life:

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Sometimes vodka takes over and that “hot” guy isn’t actually so hot the next day. Always get a second opinion before making a move.
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If he’s approved then make a move the stylish way.
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Talking of guys, never, ever settle. Ever.
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FYI, sticking with a guy who treats you bad counts as settling…
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Because you can’t change a bad boy. No matter how much you think you could.
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Also procrastination is totally normal.
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And no matter how hard you try, that bouncer will not let you sit in the reserved booth.
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And you should question all ridiculous purchases in your life. Do you REALLY need it?
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Be careful around those shady girls.
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And sometimes even the few you trust will turn bad.
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For example, they may ditch you for a gross guy (Spencer Pratt anyone? Justin Bobby? I mean come on).
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These are the people you don’t need in your life.
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But that’s how you know who you can and can’t trust.
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Although sometimes those good, trustworthy friends can still be rubbish. Just wait for them and normality will be restored eventually.
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Maybe give them a chance to confess.
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And if your gal pal hasn’t got your back then you should really question your friendship.
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That’s when you say goodbye and remember Lauren’s wisest ever line.
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Back to boys, if you think you may like him then you probably don’t. When you know, you KNOW.
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And if he knows then expect chocolates.
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No matter how much the catwalk reports say that kitten heels are hot, they are still gross (sorry Dior).
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And when you want to do something, you should give it your all.
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When you’re low just remember that things can only get better.
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But you’ll get over it because when life gives you lemons you suck them after a shot of tequila, right?
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And if you don’t want to talk to someone just say goodbye no matter how much it hurts.
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Although let’s face it, sometimes it’s not so hard to say goodbye…
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The 11 girl’s night moods

There are 2 types of weekend a girl can have. A super lazy one where you refuse to put a bra on and do anything other than watch Netflix and eat pizza OR the kind of weekend when you eat pizza, get dolled up and go out out.
But once the shots are in your  blood stream something seems to happen to your #girlgang….

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The Planner – the one who refuses to take no for an answer and is always super organised about where you’re going and what you’re going to do. You’re going to go out and you are going to drink. Do not argue with this one.

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The Flirt – You know when your BFF suddenly tries to put on ‘the sexy eyes’ and gives them to every single guy in the bar. Every. Single. One.

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The Wingman –  Usually found with the flirt. We all need one of these girls.

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The Selfie-Queen – Always late because she’s spent so long doing her make up…and yet she went beyond the Kylie Jenner amount of make up and entered the drag queen zone in an attempt to look Instagram ready. It will look fine once there’s a filter on the picture, but she will probably spend most of the night infront of the bathroom mirror.

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The Dancing Queens – Questionable moves but oh so much confidence. This girl will only leave the dance floor if she is about to pee herself. Don’t question the moves, just let her do her thing because she is having the time of her life.

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The gigglier – She’s everyone’s best friend. Even the random girl who she met at the bar is now part of your squad (just for one night). Possibly the happiest person in that moment and nothing will bring her down.

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The Cryer – Probably crying because her boyfriend said he was going to bed instead of waiting up for her. Or because she broke a nail. Or because her shoes are hurting. Nobody is ever exactly sure why she is crying but don’t question it. It will only make it worse.

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The Hungry Girl – That one friend who never seems to be full yet gets away with wearing a crop top (HOW?!). Usually she’s left the club by midnight and will spend hours in KFC.
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The Napper – Usually doesn’t make it past pre-drinks but she’ll be fine sleeping on your bedroom floor till you get home.

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The Vommer – Pretty self explanatory. She trows up every time and never learns her lesson.

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The General Mess  – A combination of sick, tears and general annoyingness. She’ll cling to you and will make you go home even when you’ve met the hottest guy ever at the bar. Steer clear.

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When Pizza Is LIFE

Ok, so not a fashion related post, we know. But our addiction to clothing is over shadowed by one entity, and that entity is PIZZA. Like the ol’ apple a day rhyme, we like to live by the saying – a pizza a week will prevent you from being a freak. And it is true. The simple combination of doughy bread, succulent tomato sauce and stringy cheese, melts our hearts in more ways than any man could. With that said… here are our favourite places in London to divulge in our doughy addiction.

  1. Homeslice

£20 for 20 inches of pure heaven – what more could you want? Plus you can go halves with different styles, so perfect for a date. Also, they serve the wine by how much you drink rather than per glass. Smart but very dangerous on a boozy girls night.

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Sam chowing down on a 20 inch for her 23rd birthday.

 

2. Pizza East

For a killer cocktail, amazing pizza and great atmosphere, Pizza East is the one for you. The Shoreditch location is our favourite haunt and is a great starting place for a night out. We’ve also heard the meatballs are a winner on the menu too (soz, we’re both veggies).

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3. Voodoo Ray’s

On the evening that we decided the start The Fashion Frontline, we finished our ‘business meeting’ with a trip to Voodoo Ray’s in Boxpark. This was the location where we both realised that our love of pizza was a lot more than the average chick, and we had no damn shame about it. So thank you Mr Ray for bringing us closer together. Go cray on the dried up condiments; chuck some chilli and cheese on that bad boy.

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4. Lardo

This London Fields gem is a tasty Italian restaurant with even tastier pizza. The cheese on the classic margarita has such a creamy texture that caresses the tongue so lightly it feels like a cloud sliding down your throat. I know, this description alone will make your mouth water. Plus it’s got a great outside seating area, so ideal for a summer Saturday with friends.

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5. Franco Manca

It’s almost blasphemous to not mention Franco Manca in a London Pizza line up. Cheap, cheerful and darn delicious. We are happy girls.

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Now don’t give us that old rubbish about pizza making you fat. It’s all lies that the burger and chips industry spread around to try and sway you. Stay loyal, stay faithful and stay strong. If you feel that you are going to falter, then look at this gif of Channing Tatum with a slice of pizza and a cat. Better?

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Summer body ready (or not)

Right, it’s April. That means one thing – not long till we’ve gotta brave it on the beach in our itsy bitsy bikinis. Yes, we said we’d start working on it on Jan 1st but who actually does that?

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Well one more meal won’t hurt. I should be able to say goodbye to food. It’s only polite.

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But seriously, that bikini bod.

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Okay goal set – lose a few pounds it’s simple. Just eat healthy and exercise. What am I meant to wear to the gym? Better hit JD Sports.

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Thats my wardrobe sorted…I should really work on this now. Maybe I’ll just Google healthy meals and feel like I’m getting healthier that way.

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I’m not getting any thinner Google! It’s time to face the gym. I’m gonna look so cute in my new work out clothes.

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How do they all make it look so easy. 2 minutes on the treadmill and I’m dying over here!!

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No, do a few more minutes then you can eat pizza. Sweet sweet pizza. I deserve this reward.

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I think I’ve lost weight already. Yep totally have.

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But that pizza totally means I’m now heavier than before. I should totally eat some salad. Yum. Salad.

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Who am I kidding this sucks.

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Why does everyone feel the need to ask me ‘what’s wrong?’. How about I miss food you idiot!!

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Let’s try yoga instead. Maybe it will make me feel zen and less angry at the world.

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You know what? I don’t even care anymore. Give me the damn pasta.

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I’m not even fat. What was I worrying about?

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That’s right. I’m curvy and I like it and everyone on the beach is going to know it. Now give me the chicken nuggets.

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