If there’s one thing our little isle is known for it’s shitty, shitty weather.
We spend about 360 days a year dealing with one thing and one thing only: rain.
We spend our days staring outside the window at work longing for that big yellow ball in the sky they call ‘the sun’.
Sometimes the weather lady will trick us by telling us that a heatwave is on it’s way and for once in our lives you can go out without an umbrella. Never fall for this, ever.
And usually our spare time at work is spent on Google trying to find a new more exotic home.
But then, (usually on a week day when you have to work) suddenly summer arrives.
Our daydreams are filled of BBQs with hotties and getting a Love Island worthy suntan.
However, Brits should come with a warning : do you not expose to heat over 25 degrees for more than 30 minutes. They will sweat in places they never knew they could.
And that’s just when we walk from the office to the train station. Next up comes tackling the train home.
TFL commuters may as well not bother trying…Esepcially if you have to get the Central Line. Just get an Uber.
Every time someone asks how you are there is only one response:
And then you look in the mirror and what do you know, your hair (which was poker straight in the morning) is beyond uncontrollable.
And that lunchtime ‘suntan’? Yeah it isn’t a suntan at all.
The bikini diet goes out of the window as there is only one thing you can eat. Sweet, sweet ice cream.
Every newspaper decides that the only thing worth reporting is the current heatwave (incase you realise it was happening).
We basically just feel like we’re on fire.
And for some crazy reason, after longing for some sunshine we’ll just start asking ‘when will it be over’?
By the end of day 2 it’s just too much. All we want is our normal British weather.
But never fear, such heat never lasts long in the UK. After a maximum of 72 hours (usually by Saturday) normality will be restored. Hello rain, our old friend.