We’ve all been there. Slightly tipsy, dancing in da club around 1am to the rhythmical delights of Queen Bey thinking that we rule the world. Flicking our hair back and forth and busting our best dance moves, we get that false sense of sexiness. Pout, pose, pout, boomerang, tits and teeth, all of the weapons in our photo artillery are deployed. However roll around tomorrow morning and the horror from the night before is evident in our photo gallery. DELETE DELETE DELETE.
Here is what’s going on in your mind vs what you really look like after guzzling down a bottle of prosecco…
Drunk mind: You are a sexy goddess on the dance floor busting out all of your Jessica Alba style Honey moves.
Reality: You look like a demented slug awkwardly impersonating an ironing board that’s also being electrocuted.
Drunk mind: Your hair and make-up is on point. Nothing has moved since you left the house. You are walking perfection.
Reality: You are a damn hot mess. Your cat eye flick is starting to look like a stripey zebra and your fringe is dripping with sweat.
Drunk mind: You are working it in those heels with style and grace. Totally strutting round the club like a Victoria’s secret angel on the runway.
Reality: Bambi handled that ice better baby.
Drunk mind: You nail every picture. The bond between you and your Iphone is unbreakable and you are nailing it in every frame. Better call Tyra to get you on Next Top Model.
Reality: The next morning rolls around and you go to post an
#aboutlastnight pic and you are disgusted. Slumber, Ludwig and even the classic black and white ain’t saving you here honey.
Drunk mind: Some sexy Ryan G look alike comes your way for a smooch, and of course obliging, you and said dream boat indulge in what can only be described as the most beautiful, passionate and completely jaw dropping sexy kiss anyone will ever witness.
Reality: All those around you are repulsed. It looks like a human reenactment of feeding time at the zoo with the two ugliest sloths.