C’mon ladies they’re pretty useless. Even the best of them are about as useful as a empty ice tray in a desert. Here are some of the top things that the other half NEVER notice.

If you’ve changed your hair.                                                                                          

You could die it green, blue and purple, and unless you point it out, those morons aren’t noticing a damn thing. The most you’ll get when you walk through the door is…”there’s something different about you”.

A new outfit.                                                                                                                                 

Well if they aren’t going to notice what’s on your head, then they certainly aren’t going to notice anything you’re wearing. You can spend hours going up and down the high street or browsing online for that perfect dress, but trust us, unless it’s a big bird costume they ain’t saying nuttin’.

If the house is clean.                                                                                                             

You’ve hoovered, deep cleaned the bathroom, gutted out the fridge, done all of the washing and repainted the entire bedroom, do they notice? Hell no. All that domestic goddess-ing will be for nothing, because those little shits will just make a mess all over again in a few days. Two words to those who live with their boyfs… toothpaste and shoes. Toothpaste marks all over the sink and a trainer collection in the hall way,  makes our blood boil.

If the bed sheets have been changed.                                                                                            

Ok, so you could argue that goes hand in hand with cleaning, but this deserves an extra paragraph all to itself. From our experience, most boys could fester in dirty bed sheets for weeks on end with no cares in the world. And considering they sweat a lot more than girls, you’d think they’d be more interested in changing them more often. Haha, you’d think. But for some reason when you snuggle yourself in clean sheets and #freshsheets on insta, they then dive into bed none the wiser.

When you tell them about a plan in advance.                                                                                           

Ok, so Sam had 3 weddings this year and she stuck each invite on the fridge and informed her boyfriend months, nay years in advance of the dates. Did he remember any of them? Oh lord no. Even up until a few days before, the ding dong had to be reminded to get his suit cleaned and book in a hair cut.

When you’re having a mini melt down.                                                                                           

They have this incredible ability to go into an inner dimension where the outside world, meaning our voice, doesn’t seem to penetrate their brains. We could be telling them something super important like our emotions, thoughts, or bitching about people we don’t like. They go into their happy place of football, food and Gigi Hadid. Then after an hour or so of expressing ourselves they say…”oh did you say something?”