In fashion darling, most of your evenings in the week are filled with launches and events. As fabulous as they are, you do end up either skipping dinner or having to chow down a McDonalds at 11:45pm. As much fun as a trip to the golden arches can be, three trips a week equates to a new top in Zara. So learning how to slay the room, impress your boss and still eat a 3 course meal (albeit a beige banquet), is a necessity for survival.
So follow our 9 steps to hunger success.
1. Say hello to the host and all of the VIPs early on. Make your best impression as soon as possible because chewing and chatting is never a good combo.
2. Locate the service door or the route the waiters have to take in order to hit the main part of the party. Infiltrate this section with full force. Back up may be required for dominating said zone. Squad must assemble quickly.
3. Make eye contact with the waiter; let them know that you mean business. If they don’t come over, smile and wave until they can’t ignore you.
4. Always act surprised when they bring out a new dish. It’ll save you face in front of new people. “Ooo what’s that?” and ‘Hmmm that looks tasty”, are phrases that effectively mask the fact you’re a little piglet.
5. Make friends with the caterers. See these people as your new BFFs who you have entrusted your entire nourishment to. Without them, you’ll end up a boozy wreck with a stomach full of champers.
6. Balance out your alcohol consumption. You can’t canapé dinner and get cray cray drunk in one evening. Food is always more important than fizz.
7. Never wear red lipstick. You can’t hole-in-one a mini burger if you’re worrying about a smudging incident.
8. Only take a paper napkin when absolutely necessary. Certain foods of course warrant them e.g. bruschetta, satay chicken and a long slice of pizza. But once you take one of those bad boys, you have to wait an eternity until somebody comes back to collect it from you.
9. Don’t be fussy. This isn’t tinder; you can’t keep swiping left until something hot turns up. You’ve gotta be a food slut and grab everything you can, because you never know when it’s going to run out.